Ultrasound

Hey guys,

I got back from Maine a few days ago and I'll write later about those adventures. For now, I thought I'd catch up on the ultrasound, which I never wrote about.

I went to Magee Women's Hospital here in Pittsburgh (and two blocks from my apartment) for the procedure. It took place in the Breast Center. I had to remove my top and bra and put on a robe that looked as though I should be serving sushi at a Japanese restaurant. The center had soft lighting, immaculate decorations and looked very inviting and comforting. In the second waiting room after you had changed they even had free tea. I had to sit in a 3rd waiting area for about an hour before they called me back. In that time I managed to read People from cover to cover and felt as though I had lost several brain cells. Also while waiting a nurse came up to a woman near and said "miss the doctor would like to see you now." She said "They found something didn't they?" And the nurse said "Kind of... I'll let the doctor explain." That was kind of unnerving to watch... just about as bad as that time I was in the ER freshman year and heard a woman die in the triage unit I was in.

The procedure itself wasn't bad at all. Just some goop and a wand to look for things. I had felt the lump go down significantly over the days leading up to the procedure so I wasn't surprised when they couldn't find anything. So the good news is: No cancer here!

I wasn't sure whether or not to be comforted or patronized by how the hospital had gone out of their way to make the breast center over the top warm and inviting. It honestly didn't ease my nerves one bit. You're not going to trick me into thinkng that having a deadly disease is a cup of tea. Cancer is still cancer, no matter how you dress it up and all the free tea in the world doesn't change that. I've never had cancer and I hope to never experience it, but if cancer patients are anywhere near as bitter as I am when it comes to medical stuff, they'd probably feel as though their intellects had just been insulted. I also can't help but feel that a prostate cancer center for men would probably not been as over the top done as what the breast center's was. So to the breast center: save some money and just stick to the standard waiting room shtick.

Woo doctor's appointment!

I went to the gynecologist (actually she was a nurse practitioner, but whatever) about the lump. She found it and thinks it's more than likely a lymph node acting up. But, to ere on the side of caution, I have an ultrasound on Tuesday.

The funniest thing was when I called to set up my appointment, the receptionist was just going out of her way to see if I had any questions or concerns and said everything really empathically, until she said rather sternly that I couldn't bring children to the facility. I found the contrast amusing, as well as the way she just went out of her way to be sensitive and nice. Most receptionists deal with things sort of matter of factly, which doesn't bother me since I'm used to that manner and I know they deal with this shit everyday.

My mom's friend who had a pretty rough case of lymphoma said that if my lump is tender it's actually a good sign.

Senior!

Tonight (actually last night since it's now into the wee hours of the morning) I finished up my last academic act of my junior year, thus making me a senior. I'm proud and at the same time wondering where on earth all this time went.

I found a small lump under my armpit yesterday. I made an appointment for my yearly gynecological appointment because I was due for and also asked if they can look at the lump. This happens on Friday. It scared the crap out of me yesterday but now I'm not as stressed. I'm obviously pretty worried, but optimistic that it's nothing, especially considering my age (20). I read online that 80% of these lumps turn out to be nothing. However, I've also been reading about the horrible things it could be (breast cancer, lymphoma). I know the worst thing you can can possibly do to yourself is read about disease insanity online, but I just couldn't help myself.

So, wish me cysts or angry non-cancerous lymph nodes.